When a couple starts dating both parties usually put “their best foot forward,” trying to show their best qualities while suppressing some of their worst. Over time the personality traits that they were attempting to hide start to seep out of their hidden shameful crevasses and make their way to the surface. After a year or so with your attitude, selfishness, or any other short coming that you may have, you need to ask yourself, “Would you Stay With You” if the roles were reversed.
Your Attitude Sucks
In the beginning you were pleasant, walked around smelling the roses and just enjoyed life. After a few months or years there has been a change in your attitude. Now you are full of so much negativity and you hate this or that for no reason at all. Your significant other unsuccessfully tries to make you feel better about whatever change in your life that caused you to turn into such an unhappy person.
Sure, every now and then the two of you have good times. But that is few and far between; you’re constantly complaining and bickering about everything. You are a grumpy person who can’t see the sun due to the extra dark shades that you have placed over your own eyes. You say that you appreciate your partner for sticking with you through your self-inflicted dark times, then you turn right back around wallowing in your self-inflected self-pity (insert violin music and Justin Timberlake singing “Cry Me a River”). Try looking at you through your partner’s eyes and think to yourself “Would You Stay with Someone like You”
What are you doing that makes you so Jealous
When you first started dating you were care free and didn’t keep tabs on your significant other, but after dating for a while or even marriage now you “need to know” where they are every second of the day. You are constantly calling/texting and have the feeling of self-doubt when you don’t get an answer or a return call/text. You use to have so much confidence in your relationship and now you are self-conscious about it because you love them so much that you don’t want to lose them.
You try to hold on to them and their every movement so tightly that you begin to lose grip of them and your relationship. The question is, what are you doing that makes you not trust your significant other anymore? Are you projecting the guilt from the dastardly (I have always wanted to use that word in a sentence from Saturday morning cartoons ever since this blog started) dirty deeds that you are/have done to your partner and turning it into distrust even though they haven’t done anything for you not to trust them?
Your jealousy is scary and is pushing them away from you. You keep saying you will change but after a few weeks you’re right back to badgering them about their whereabouts, hiding in bushes, and playing forty question about how and who they spent their day with. You get upset when you hear them talking to friends of the opposite sex, even though they have known them for years longer than they have known you. So once again, if your partner treated you the way you have been treating them “Would You Stay with Someone Like You?”
Take a Good Look At Yourself
There are too many different scenarios that I could write about here but I don’t feel like writing a book right now. The main reason for writing this is to get you to think about the things that you do, that your partner constantly complains about. It is a problem if your partner is constantly trying to talk you off of the pity party ledge; you need to say to yourself… If things were reversed “Would You Stay With Someone Like You”?
If the answer to that question is “No”, then you need to sit down with your partner and have a serious conversation. Ask them to help you get back to who you use to be or help you balance growing into this “New You,” even if that means the two of you go to counseling. Your relationship can get back to the good times if you both are willing to put in 100% towards working to bring back better days.