What is it about a person’s password that makes them guard it with their life just to keep it from their spouse? Is there something that they are trying to hide? Is it just the last piece of them that they want to hold sacred and keep to themselves? Is it that they feel they would be giving control over to their spouse if they give them their password? No matter what the reasoning is, the look on the spouses face when their significant other says something like “Hey, what’s Your Password?” is priceless.

The Technology Snoop

Not all password requests are innocent. There are some spouses who are just nosy and want to play computer forensic detectives as they comb through looking for anything suspicious. If they feel that their spouse is not being honest or could be having an extramarital affair then I understand that, I’m not talking about them. The people that I’m referring to are just simply nosy or want to have some control over their spouse and who they are conversing with through technology.

I have heard several women talking (surprisingly not so many men) and some specifically told me that after they asked their man “What’s Your Password?” and he wouldn’t give it to them, they watched him type in his password on his phone or laptop and then logged in when he wasn’t around.

These snoops will spend hours looking for “proof” without knowing what they are trying to prove. Then they find that one email where he says to a woman, that she doesn’t know, “Ok can’t wait to see you tomorrow” and she goes into an immediate uproar pacing back and forth until he comes home and then she pounces…

Her – Who is this Betty Chick?

Him – Who? What are you talking about? And, hello to you too.

Her – Uuuhuhn, you aren’t getting out of this! Why won’t you answer me, who is Betty?

Him – Why?

Her – Why won’t you just answer me?! It doesn’t matter because I caught you! I went through your email and found out you are cheating with her so don’t deny it.

Him – You did what, why you going through my stuff?

Her – Don’t try to flip this on me because you are cheating and got caught.

Him – That’s messed up, I can’t believe you went through my stuff.

Her – That’s right! If I didn’t you would still be getting away with this, you dog!!!

Him – (walking away) Check the date on that email, you dummy. That was someone I dated years before I met you…

Now his trust in her is gone and depending on the man, their relationship may be over. Either way she is wrong and has some serious apologizing to do. There is an old saying, “If you look hard enough for something you will eventually find it” even if it isn’t really what you think it is.

You Only Want It Because They Won’t Give It to You

There are some people who after asking several times “Hey Babe, What’s Your Password?” and after being shot down every time will make it their life’s mission to find out what it is. They are not even desperately trying to find out the password because think their spouse is cheating but just because they were told “no” and they are such control freaks that they can’t accept that answer. They will do anything in their power to try to find out this password just so they can know it. It’s like knowing the password is equivalent to how much their spouse loves them.

This becomes a nagging issue in the relationship which will eventually lead to bigger problems if it is not resolved. If you want your spouse’s password just for the sake of knowing it then you really need to find a hobby to occupy your time. Asking your spouse “What’s Your Password” as a test to see if they will give it to you is setting yourself up for disappointment because 9 times out of 10 you already know that they won’t give it to you.

Babe Let Me See Your Phone

This is another question that once asked will almost always get the response “Why” or “For What”. There are some people who guard their phone better than the security detail at Fort Knox. I mean the phone stays on silent or vibrate so their spouse doesn’t know when they are getting a call. Then there are the people who take their phone with them everywhere they go in the house including the bathroom just so their spouse doesn’t “accidentally” pick it up.

This type of behavior will lead to suspicion and force your spouse to ask you “What’s Your Password” or just sneak it to see what you are hiding. My question to the people who do this is what are you scared of your spouse finding?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking your spouse for their password. In fact my wife and I have the same passwords and I will pick up her phone and log in to check something on the internet if my phone is in another room and she will do the same with mine. She will answer my phone if I’m not by it and I will answer hers if she is away.

Instead of making demands or trying to watch each other type in the password so we could sneak into each other’s account, we actually had a conversation about this topic (I think we talked about this after watching the Tyler Perry movie “Why Did I Get Married Too”). We saw the trouble it was causing others in their relationship and we both agreed that we didn’t see what the big deal was and that we would not succumb to the pettiness. Once again the important fact in all of this is we had a CONVERSATION instead of demanding or sneaking. When it comes to passwords, house work, the kids, or whatever, open communication is the key to having a less stressful and more trusting marriage

Author B.A.M


  1. What seems strange to me is that until you brought this post up I had never considered asking for my wife’s passwords and never once has she asked me for mine. I know we would both give it but we have trust in each other so why do I need it or want to see her conversations.
    It is a bit like asking each other about past relationships. Why do want to know. That one has always puzzled me. If you don’t ask or don’t know then life is so much easier.
    Another good thought provoking post.

    • I have had my wifes passwords to almost everything because i’m too lazy to go get my laptop if it is in another room so i will just use hers. I always forget what the passwords are and have to askk her for it everyttme i want to log into her stuff. Just like you and your wife we trust each other and have no problem wondering what the other is doing online or anything else. Thanks for another great comment…


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