There are always signs that people in love choose to ignore before getting married. It is these same signs that come back to bite them after a couple of days, months, or years of marriage. But beyond that, a lot of marriages fail because of the “might as well” factor. Looking back these people know that they shouldn’t have gotten married or that they married for the wrong reasons. If you have any questions about whether you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with a person then don’t do it.
10. We will have two incomes once we are married so we might as well
Two incomes are great, but what is sometimes not taken into account is that there are two sets of bills also. Most people don’t take the time to think about what will happen if one person loses their job. If the love isn’t strong enough to weather the storm, then the marriage will be washed away in the flood
9. We have been together so long that we might as well
You have been together so long but you don’t really get along. You are just together because it’s familiar. One of you may have the thought that you two are toxic together but neither will say it and will continue to just go through the motions. Once you’re married breaking up and getting back together becomes a lot harder. If you don’t get along when not married you will continue to get on each other’s nerves once you are married until one person decides to call it quits.
8. You keep pressuring me so we might as well
Ok, you win, I will marry you. If you get married just because of peer pressure you are setting the precedence for how the marriage will be. You will continue to be run over and taken advantage of until you finally grow a spine and stand up for yourself. But, by that time, you have had enough and decide to end it. We’ve all heard it before; pressure burst pipes and after being pressured into marriage and then pressured during the marriage someone is going to blow.
7. He/She has money so we might as well
Money is one of the main reasons some people choose to get married, but it’s also one of the main reasons for divorce. If a person goes into the marriage with financial security as a main goal on their list, what will happen when the money is no longer there? What will they have if the person with the money has to stop working or loses a lot of their money in stocks or a failed business? What will there be to fall back on. Marriage should be about building a foundation and growing together in all aspects including finances. You can’t build a solid relationship based off of finances and FICA scores
6. I don’t have anyone else so I might as well ignore the do not do it signs
If you think for one second that a person will change based off of a wedding ceremony and party then you are absolutely crazy. One of the worst things you can do is believe you can change a person who doesn’t want to change. Once you say I do the other person will continue to do the same things that you didn’t like before you got married. Settling for the sake of being just married means you’re not strong enough to maintain a marriage. Be comfortable in your own skin before bringing someone else into your mess.
5. We already live together so we might as well
You are already living together in a bad relationship, or even if it is a good relationship if you’re both not ready then don’t do it. If the relationship is bad then you will just up the ante to a bad marriage. Living together does not equate to being married and sharing a household together. If you are only living together for necessity and not because it is something that you are trying to build together then your necessity marriage will probably fail.
4. I want to stay in the country so we might as well
Yes this still happens and I have witnessed it with a few co-workers. Whether you are here on a student visa or if an American met you in Dominica Republic if the relationship isn’t strong this one won’t work either. Now most people coming from other countries and they just want to stay here will make anyone believe they are the model husband/wife until their papers come in then it’s later for you. Or the person who is a citizen will always hold that over your head and continually threaten to divorce you so you will have to leave the country. A deceitful marriage will be full of just that and will always end badly.
3. The sex is good so we might as well
This is a common one where all problems are fixed with makeup sex. The issue with this one is people put too much weight on sex and not enough weight on Conversation, commonality, and love (not lust). People mistake good sex for a great relationship and once married when real couple issue pop up they don’t know how to handle them. Sex won’t take out the garbage or wash the dishes.
2. If we get married the cheating will stop
Once again, if you think for one second that a person will change based off of a wedding ceremony and party then you are absolutely crazy. I’m not saying people can’t change but I’m sure we all heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater. That is not necessarily true. After marriage when there is more to lose the former cheater becomes a more creative cheater. If you didn’t trust them before the marriage you won’t trust them after, and this will always be an issue. Without trust there is no real relationship.
And the number one reason your might as well marriage may fail is…. Yup you guessed it!!!
1. I got pregnant so we might as well
Adding a kid to the mix brings an entire new level of stress into a relationship. If you weren’t thinking about getting married before the pregnancy then why rush into it once you find out about being pregnant. Most of the time the relationship isn’t stable enough for the two of you and then once you bring a little one into the fold the relationship is often times doomed. Having a child will not fix what is wrong with your relationship; it will enhance the problems with it!!!