Even though we all know that dating can be hard now a days, it is still a mystery to me as to why people choose a person who knowingly isn’t right for them.  Other times they chase behind someone who treats them like crap or is just playing games with them until someone better comes along.  If a person isn’t right for you or doesn’t really want to commit, you need to stop chasing hearts that don’t want to be caught.

Chasing the Bad Guy

I don’t know what it is with some of you and why you will overlook someone who has a job, benefits, never been incarcerated and treats you like royalty for someone who will have 2-3 girls on the side, doesn’t work, doesn’t have a car but has that swag that you like.  I have witnessed this a few times while out, a man has come up to a lady and said “Excuse me my name is John” but the lady hears “Corny Guy”.   He will politely ask “Can I buy you a drink?” and the lady just laughs in his face or even worst she will just take the drink and laugh in his face.  But when “Thug Guy” comes over and is disrespectful and grabs the lady saying “Yo let me holla at you right quick”, that same lady that laughed at the “Corny Guy” now gives “Thug Guy” her full attention.  This lady will stay with this poor excuse for a human being and lose her family and friends over him thinking that one day he will change.

It is amazing to me that this woman will be cheated on, treated badly and sometimes beaten up for years.  Then you have the woman that will even end up marrying this loser because she thinks she can change him or that she can’t do better. (This is a great place to plug another article on this site called “Top Ten Reasons Your Might As Well Marriage May Fail”. You should read it after you finish reading this one but I digress… I told you before that I like saying that).  She has been with him a long time now, she has settled down but he hasn’t.  Now she is stuck in a “one-sided faithful” marriage.  She keeps running after him thinking that one day she will capture his heart but that day never comes.

Fast forward a couple of years and a few kids later and now this same lady is divorced and has a deadbeat baby’s father who won’t pay child support or visit the kids.  What is even worst is this same lady will see the same “Corny Guy” that she laughed at in the bar years ago and now because she has been “through it” is looking for a nice guy and will actually pursue him.  She sees the same stability that he had back in the day as an attractive quality instead of a corny one but now she has lost her chance with him because she was too busy “Chasing A Heart That Didn’t Want To Be Caught”.

You’re her good time guy

Now on to some of you men who think you can buy women.  I see you all the time too (I’m not nosy, I’m a people watcher) in clubs buying bottles trying to impress the ladies who aren’t worth impressing. This guy will overlook a lady that has class, a job, and dignity for a hoe who has on the skin tight and tiny dress that all her womanly parts keep falling out of.  These types of guys usually end up with some lady like this who has learned the game and been hurt enough in the past to the point where they are the ones running game.

He tries using his money to control her unaware that this lady is just along for the ride and has another man that she really likes somewhere else.  She will just continue stringing this poor sap along for as long as he keeps buying her stuff.  She may even give him some if she thinks she is in danger of losing her bank roll.  To her he is the “Good Time Guy” who is willing to pay to play.

After thousands of dollars and multiple vacations he may get the hint and end it with this chick only to go back and overlook another deserving nice young lady for another undeserving tramp who will do the same thing to him.  This fool of a man may never learn that doing the same thing and expecting different results will more than likely end with him being single and broke.  Better yet, what will happen if this guy loses his job and no longer has the money (which defined him in his mind) to throw around.  Ok, let’s say this guy smartens up and stops “Chasing Hearts That Don’t Want To Be Caught”, no real woman is going to deal with him trying to control her with money, so where does this leave him?

Ladies and Gentlemen you need to know your worth and stop settling for what you know isn’t right for you. When you overlook a nice person and what you should have for swag or money and what you don’t need, it will rarely turn out the way you expect.  When a person shows you who they really are and it is not up to your standards, believe them and know you can do better.   Instead of “Chasing Hearts That Don’t Want To Be Caught” why don’t you find a heart that is deserving of you and willing to travel side by side on the road to forever with you and who wants to be there for you.

Author: B.A.M


    • Thanks for the great comment James. That is the kind of impact we were hoping to make with this article!!! Make sure you check out some of the other articles on here and provide your feedback on them as well.

    • Thank you Keisha… your hint has been noted… since I know a little something about that the next article will be about that with a little twist. Feel free to check out other articles and drop some hints on those as well… lol

  1. Jay,
    I have a confession here. I was one of those men who never had the time. I had a career and there was too much of life to see and immerse myself in. I had a girlfriend who would save her money and travel 200 miles to see me each weekend and take me out. I never visited her.
    To cut a long story short we eventually got married, had two wonderful children and I am the luckiest man alive to have her. I have never felt the want to cheat and she is my life.
    We have been living on a boat for the last 5 years whilst sailing the world and spend nearly every hour together.
    My penance for my past behaviour is that I love her more each day.

    • I absolutely love this. Mark in the end you came around to what’s important and it worked out for you and your family. Hopefully one day I can be like you and travel the world with my family like you.


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