Divorce

Men Should Not Ask for Child Support

Men Should Not Ask for Child Support
Jubair and Tyanna

I have been saying for a long time now that the child support guidelines should be modified (click this link to read 5 Course Child Support Meal and the Check Please).  All of the double standard comments about Sherri Shepherd’s divorce that I am reading over the internet just solidified that I am correct.  There is a shared common theme that keeps being repeated by a lot of women who are mad about this situation which is, “Men Should Not Ask for Child Support”

He is Less Than a Man

As I read through many articles that have followed this couple’s break up, most of the comments are negative.  All I could think is, why is this different?  Even more importantly, why do these women think that “He is Less Than a Man” for asking for child support?

Correct me if I am wrong, but, if he does get custody of the child and she makes more money than him, why shouldn’t he ask for child support?  When it is flipped around the other way, it is expected that the woman asks for child support and when a few women don’t go after support they are looked at as stupid for not taking their ex to the cleaners (but I digress).

Once again correct me if I am wrong, but, what makes a man is not the fact that he doesn’t make as much as his celebrity wife, but how he treats her, his family, and to state the obvious his male anatomy.  You can’t take away his manhood because he is asking for child support (which is what most women would do in his situation).  Let’s say he gets custody of the child and her support is enough for him to sit at home watching TV and eating Bon Bons a’ la Peggy Bundy, that doesn’t make him less of a man, it makes him lazy but he is still a man.

When women have children by celebrities (sometime as a trap) and they are collecting more than enough to live off of so that they don’t have to work you hear these same women celebrating instead of complaining.  None of the negative comments that I read seem to be a good reason to explain why “Men Should Not Ask for Child Support”

Why is He Trying to Take Her Hard Earned Money

Could that be why he is going after custody, just so he can get her money… Maybe!  But we don’t know this to be true.  If he is doing this just to get money, does that make him a horrible father?  No, it just makes him a money greedy person just like a lot of the women who take their celebrity baby’s father to court so they can get up to $50,000 a month (that is the most I have heard of but that number may be higher).   Why weren’t these same women complaining when someone of their same gender got a huge payday from their ex/baby’s father.

Yes, maybe she is the bread winner but one of the biggest problems with marriage today is the separation of funds/accounts.  What happened to being a team and the money that is earned being put in a joint account?  If you live with financial separations, often times that may lead to other things like marital separation.  During a marriage there should be ours and there needs to be a joint account (in my humble opinion). Why do some women have the mentality that what he makes is ours but what she makes is hers.  “Why is He Trying to Take Her Hard Earned Money”, well in this case he can’t because she had a prenup.  The fact that she makes more money than him is still not a great reason why “Men Should Not Ask for Child Support”; it actually helps his claim if he is awarded custody.

He Just Wants a Free Ride

Him wanting a free ride may be true, but how is this different than the women who go out and stalk athletes and poke holes in the condoms so that they can get their “free ride” and big old slice of the American pie.  For the women who have a problem with a man getting support from a women because she makes more, I would like to know if you would have a problem with a women getting support from that same man if the roles were reversed?

Now maybe in some far off bizzaro world there are a bunch of women constantly complaining about other women taking advantage of the system and misusing child support for their own greedy little needs.  But here in the good ole U.S. of A, besides my wife I have only heard of 2 other women who share this thought.

As I stated before, maybe her husband is looking for a free ride but that is not what this article is addressing.  What is being addressed is the need to revamp the child support laws.  If more celebrity ex-husbands (or just regular ex-husbands) would ask for and receive support a lot of these selfish and double standard loving women would yell louder about how unfair this is to women. Think about it, if more women make a big stink about having trouble keeping their houses, having to move in with their parents because they can’t afford to pay their bill do to the obscene amount of support that they are paying the lawmakers may be forced to do a much needed overhaul of the entire child support system.

The Questions No One are Asking

The most important thing that is getting “swept under the rug and is more crucial than the revamping of the child support laws or who will get custody, is what caused the breakdown in their marriage in the first place and how can we help other couples from falling down the same rabbit hole.   Did the two of them have sufficient pre-marital counseling?  How good was their communication with one another?  Can this marriage still be saved?  Was the will for money stronger than their love?  To me these are the critical items that never get talked about.

We do not know and maybe will never know the answers to these questions, but just like you go to the dentist to get your teeth checked for preventive maintenance, the same thing has to be done with your marriage/relationship to build/keep a strong foundation.  So to all the ladies that are complaining and saying things like “Men Should Not Ask for Child Support”, you need to stop worrying about the people you are reading about and answer the questions mentioned in this section with regards to your marriage/relationship.

Author B.A.M

View Comments (8)

8 Comments

  1. Tasha

    06/06/2014 at 3:32 PM

    Wow very real statements for the mature person who see both sides of the coin. I know for some women it may be hard to take but, why wouldn’t it be any different if the man has custody and the woman is in a place to help financially support them?

    • BallNChainz

      06/06/2014 at 4:01 PM

      Exactly the point… if the man had custody then why shouldn’t the woman help with the cost of raising the children

  2. Laurie S Hurley

    06/09/2014 at 10:42 PM

    I think the laws should be the same for men and women. If a couple get divorced, a man should be able to ask for child support if he has custody. Since I make it a point not to get involved online with political issues and hot potatoes such as this one, that is all I can say.
    However, let’s keep in mind the child(ren) involved. The money is supposed to be used to provide a reasonable style of living for the kids, not the parent left without a spouse. That should be the main focus.

    • BallNChainz

      06/09/2014 at 10:46 PM

      by you saying that the money is suppose to provide a reasonable style of living for the kids, to the parent left without a spouse… that says a lot and is what a lot of parents forget about. great comment

  3. Debra Yearwood

    06/14/2014 at 8:17 AM

    I’m having a hard time understanding why this is even a debate. After years of asking for equal rights, equal pay and equal opportunity, did some women think they could just skip the part where they also got equal access to the stuff that wasn’t so much fun, like custody payments? I don’t think we live in a perfect world and there are always going to be jerks out there, male and female, but if you enter into a marriage with someone and have children, then expect that there will be financial implications when that marriage ends.

    • BallNChainz

      06/14/2014 at 11:54 AM

      Debra, thank for the great comment. I agree with you 100%. I couldn’t believe all the comment on this subject that said things he is less than a man. And I may have to edit this article and add a section for Halle Berry.

  4. CS

    02/22/2017 at 7:26 AM

    The point that a lot of people seem to be missing is that child support is to support the child. Male or female, the custodial parent should receive child support (of course, depending on who makes more, the non custodial parent shouldn’t be left destitute if he or she was not the breadwinner), that money is to feed, clothe, and house, your child.

    • Jubair and Tyanna

      Jubair and Tyanna

      02/22/2017 at 7:48 AM

      This is definitely a point that a lot of people miss. Some custodial parents actually think that child support should be given to help cover their household bills and then the non custodial parent should split the cost of clothes and other things that the child support should cover in half. Thanks for the great comment

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Divorce
Jubair and Tyanna
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Ballnchainz is a relationship blog that covers the topics of Marriage, Family, Couples Finances, and Divorce from both the woman and mans point of view in a slightly comedic way.

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