Family

Let Your Kids Fail

Let Your Kids Fail
Jubair and Tyanna

Some psychologist or person who has way too many degrees and no social skills has come up with the idea that there is a something wrong with kids being picked last for a team or children’s sports shouldn’t have scores because losing and/or being picked last is bad for children’s ego.  It is because of this that kids are losing their competitive edge and are more than happy settling for the last place trophies.   Parents “Let Your Kids Fail” and help them to build confidence and healthy competitiveness so that they will be able to function in the world as teens and adults.

These Kids Aren’t Even Trying to Win

I went to a friend’s kid’s game and watched these little non-athletic snotty nose children running around looking like big gnats with sports jerseys on.  I didn’t know what the score was so I asked someone if the score board was broken to which they said “No, at this age we don’t keep scores for the kids because they get upset if they think that they lost.”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I asked, “ Is that why a bunch of kids aren’t even trying?”  To which another parent said “This is a development league, they are just learning the game and having fun.”

Parents, how can you build your child’s competitiveness, develop your child and teach your child about good sportsmanship if the score is not kept and there is no reason to be competitive?  They say that “life isn’t about winning or losing but how you play the game”, but these kids aren’t even trying to play the game.  Parents, it’s okay to “Let Your Kids Fail” because that is how they will build character or that driving force within themselves to do their best.

Last Place Trophy

What in the Ham Eggs and Cheese is a last place trophy and where did this crap come from?  How do you go DEFEATED for an entire season and still get a trophy?   To me, this is hurting the kids in the long wrong and giving them a sense of entitlenent.  Whatever happened to trying your best and earning accolades?  I heard one kid say to another who was on the defeated team “Dag y’all didn’t win a single game” to which the defeated kid said “So, I still got a trophy!”

The thought that this kid was happy to lose every game because he still got a trophy is a sign of what is wrong with the kids today.  A lot of kids  use to have society as a wakeup call, but now society is one of the main causes of the problem.  Society has set the standard that makes kids think that they are owed something from the world.  All because society won’t “Let Your Kids Fail” the teens today don’t have the work ethic that teens had even 10 years ago and are happy just “being” without being a part of something great.  It seems to me that mediocrity is the new standard of excellence.  It is a sad day on earth when more attention is paid to mediocrity instead of to those who despite the obstacles and challenges choose to be outstanding.

You Are Not Entitled to Jack

I am so tired of this generation of slackers feeling like they should be rewarded for doing nothing or just enough to make it look like they tried.  Some of these kids are so spoiled that they feel they should be paid for shoveling the snow at the house they live in.  Some kids feel that doing household chores is beneath them and I blame this on the parents.  Parents need to step up and let their children know that no one is going to give them the things that they want in life.

Instead of adding to their feelings of being entitled, how about making them earn the things that they want.  If the parents keep celebrating mediocrity their kids most likely will be living with them well into their thirties because they have no reason nor do they know how to strive for better.  This is “The Lasting Effect” (Click this link to read a previous post called The Lasting Effect) of the parents and society stripping the kids of their healthy competitive edge and will to do better.

Parents, society as a whole has begun to coddle the kids for way too long.  We are failing our youth and giving them the mindset that doing “just enough” to get by is acceptable because in the past they have been celebrated for their laziness.  Then people are wondering why their kids fail out of college or reach adulthood and don’t have the strong work ethic that is needed to survive.  It is because of this that you need to “Let Your Kids Fail.”  So, if no other reason, you won’t be stuck with a slacker living with you during your golden years.

View Comments (22)

22 Comments

  1. Tuhin

    03/31/2014 at 8:17 AM

    Every living being has to face competition in all stages of life!! failure may make us upset but this does not mean we should run away from competitions! parents should realize this and prepare their kids accordingly!

    • ballnchainz

      03/31/2014 at 8:28 AM

      You are correct but it seems that a lot of parents are trying to live vicariously through their children and don’t want them to be sad after losing

    • Aimless Disquiet

      05/20/2016 at 7:01 AM

      So true, I wrote a poem on this, please check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxy_stJMitg

  2. Leora Wenger

    03/31/2014 at 11:40 AM

    I so agree! We can’t forever shelter kids from pain. It’s important to learn the feeling of failure, and then to learn that one can get back on one’s feet.

    • ballnchainz

      03/31/2014 at 11:54 AM

      So true, they really do need learn from the loss, get over it and try again. Today kids are being stripped out that lesson

    • Aimless Disquiet

      05/20/2016 at 7:02 AM

      Exactly!! I wrote a poem on this, please check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxy_stJMitg

  3. T Mack

    03/31/2014 at 2:51 PM

    It’s amazing how raising our kids has changed since I was brought up. I still remember my mom telling me in middle school not to be mediocre! Even then she wanted me to stand out from the rest! Now as time changed where even spanking your child can land you in jail, I see a lot of our youth falling short and settle for mediocrity. Our children need to know what it is to fail because in the failure there is a learning opportunity for them to win in the future. For each failure the opportunity to gain wisdom to help them make better decision that create better character in our children to want to be even better adults.

    • ballnchainz

      03/31/2014 at 3:04 PM

      T Mack.. that is a great comment. As parents we need to step up and do more, But the problem is a lot of parents these days don’t know better themselves. So now the kids have to suffer for having a parent who is oblivious to raising kids. Thanks for the comment

  4. Krystle Cook

    03/31/2014 at 5:53 PM

    My husband can’t stand how they are trying to make all the kids be on the same level because they are afraid of someone’s feelings getting hurt. He can’t stand how at sports everyone gets a trophy. Trophies should only be given to those that deserve it. If they want one so bad they need to try harder and earn one.

    • ballnchainz

      04/01/2014 at 7:23 AM

      Tell your husband that he ids not the only one who feels that way. Of toy didn’t earn it then you don’t deserve it. Thanks for the comment

    • Aimless Disquiet

      05/20/2016 at 7:12 AM

      Yup, he’s not alone. I believe in the same thing, and I’m still a kid. Here’s an animation I made called, “Let Your Kids Fail”

  5. Kumar Gauraw

    03/31/2014 at 10:40 PM

    Great topic and true words. We must teach our children from early on the value of hard work and importance of earning things that they want as opposed to feeding their entitlement mentality.

    In my home, we make our children earn what they want. For every little pleasure thing, we train them to use their own bank and so far, I am so very proud of my kids. They are much more responsible when it comes to handling money or even planning for buying toys and other things that many other kids will just take for granted.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • ballnchainz

      04/01/2014 at 7:26 AM

      Kumar, we do something similar. The kids have to earn the things that they want. If they are respectful,get good grades, and clean up then they get stuff but it’s they don’t then they get nothing.

  6. Suzanne Fluhr

    04/01/2014 at 3:44 AM

    One problem with artificially propping kids up is that they don’t get real feedback about what they’re good at, what needs improvement and maybe even what they perhaps shouldn’t work all that hard to excel at. For example, in about 10th grade, I realized that although I enjoyed playing the oboe in the school orchestra, for me to get to the next level, I would have to give up other things to practice many hours a day. I decided that being “good enough” to play second oboe was fine, but I was determined to do the work to do well in my academic subjects. Our sons did their own laundry and even cooked family dinners. They grumbled some at the time, but when they came home for their first breaks from college, they expressed astonishment that so many of the other kids had no idea how to do their own laundry. Having said all this, I think each child is different—-some need a gentler hand and some need tough love, but we sell them short if we don’t expect their best.

    • ballnchainz

      04/01/2014 at 7:29 AM

      My mother had us cooking and doing laundry at an early age and it was such a benefit later on inn life. When these kids get to the real world where you’re expected to produce something they will be in for a rude awakening

  7. Maxwell Ivey

    04/01/2014 at 8:19 AM

    the one word that caught my attention in this was sportsmanship. there are lessons that come from winning and losing. One of th mor important ones is how to behave while winning or losing. thanks for sharing, max

  8. ballnchainz

    04/01/2014 at 9:29 AM

    Max, you are so correct. Sportsmanship is being lost and having a kid who was a sore loser and even worst winner i know first hand. If i had waited to correct this then the problem would be our of control by now

  9. Michael Wosnick

    04/03/2014 at 11:17 AM

    As a parent I understand how you always want to prop your kids up and give them self-esteem and self-assurance. It is hard to see how that might be harmful one day.

    The trick is in the balance. If you always praise or always bail kids out, then they are not prepared for the time when praise doesn’t come, or when they do fall flat on their face.

    If you never fail, you will never really appreciate success. We as parents need to learn that lesson that tough love is love too .

    • ballnchainz

      04/03/2014 at 11:58 AM

      You are correct. The trick is balance and one of your last lines sums up the article. If you never fail you will never really appreciate success.. thanks for the great comment

  10. Doreen Pendgracs

    04/04/2014 at 7:42 AM

    I have to say: my father was strict with us during growing up and always encouraged us to try harder. But that encouragement made me try harder and produce better results. I thank him for making me the confident and successful person I am today. So I think it’s good to encourage children to excel, achieve, and be the best they can be.

    • ballnchainz

      04/04/2014 at 8:14 AM

      I agree with you, but giving a false sense of accomplishment does not help in my opinion. What happens when they fail or realize that they did not deserve that trophy. How will they handle that?

  11. Aimless Disquiet

    05/20/2016 at 7:11 AM

    YES!!! This needs to be told. I made an animation called, “Let Your Kids Fail” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jxy_stJMitg

    Check it out, it really fits in well with the article

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Family
Jubair and Tyanna
@http://twitter.com/ballnchainz

Ballnchainz is a relationship blog that covers the topics of Marriage, Family, Couples Finances, and Divorce from both the woman and mans point of view in a slightly comedic way.

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