Relationships

Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse

Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse
Jubair and Tyanna

The mistake a lot of people make is saying the first unthoughtful thing that pops in their head at the wrong time.  When you initiate a sensitive topic with rudeness and at the wrong time you will never get the response that you are looking for.  Instead, try to “Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse.”   There are a lot of healthy benefits that could come from this, you may not only resolve what you thought was a problem, you could end up having a great and productive discussion that builds your marriage instead of tearing it down.   Either way, you probably will not have to worry about a NEW problem because you started off the conversation with a bad attitude.

Once again I have come across another video from our friends John and Portia Scott at InvestnMarriage and felt compelled to share it.  This video goes along with the article that was written on BallnChainz about Effective Communication (Click this link Look at Me When I’m Talking to You – Effective Communication to read ).  My wife and I watched their video and agreed with it 100% and both said “We need to share this”.  Also don’t forget to visit The Scotts on Facebook at www.facebook.com/investnmarriage

So check out the link below to hear some great advice on “Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse”.

 

View Comments (24)

24 Comments

  1. Crystal Ross

    07/03/2014 at 4:41 PM

    My husband promised never to use the divorce word or call each other names. We have worked on our communication skills over the years and they have gotten better. HOwever, it taKes lots of Practice. 🙂

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:27 AM

      You are right it takes a whole lot of practice.

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 1:56 PM

      It’s great to hear that you and your husband don’t use the ‘D’ word or call each other names, keep up the practice. I have to agree with you Crystal, effective communication takes a lot of practice and a whole lot of patience. I myself have not completely mastered it but I am committed to the process.

  2. Jacqueline Gum (Jacquie)

    07/04/2014 at 12:32 PM

    Name calling is a definite no-no. They are words that you can never take back…and I think timing is everything, too. Good advice

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:28 AM

      Yeah these two have a lot of great advice

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 1:58 PM

      Jacquie, thank you for watching the video and providing feedback.

  3. Maxwell Ivey

    07/04/2014 at 12:39 PM

    thanks for sharing; no spouse or girlfriend but these points can help with the family since we live in a house together. the other day I decided to tell the family how much i appreciate all the things they do to free up time for me to work on the site. I think it was a good investment and something we all should do more often especially me. and your post reminds me of one of the chapters from gretchen ruben’s book. the chapter was called learn to fight fare. take care, max

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:29 AM

      Thanks Max. you are right, the points raised can be used in a lot of aspects of life.

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 2:01 PM

      Max, thanks for watching and providing feedback on how this can help in other relationships outside of marriage.

  4. Debra Yearwood

    07/04/2014 at 2:17 PM

    I think bringing up important issues when you’re in a temper is the same as setting those issues on fire. What I really like from John and Portia was the comment about not taking the opportunity to beat up your spouse. There are times when you’re so focussed on winning the argument you lose track of who you are arguing with. It’s a bit like winning the argument but losing the war. Great post.

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:32 AM

      Thanks Debra. not beating up on your spouse is key to reaching a resolution. when I was younger I won plenty of arguments and lost all those wars

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 1:49 PM

      Debra, thank you for your feedback. I love your last point “It’s a bit like winning the argument but losing the war.” It iis so true that you may win the argument but is it worth beating up your partner.

  5. Meredith Wouters

    07/04/2014 at 3:05 PM

    I think it’s also important to learn how your spouse would like to approach a difficult topic. For one person, it might help to schedule a time to talk so they don’t feel like they are being ambushed, while for another it’s easier to deal with things on the fly in a casual conversation. Good communication can look different for different couples, but the key is to find what works for you, together.

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:33 AM

      great comment Meredith. finding out what works for you and your spouse is key

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 2:08 PM

      Meredith, thanks for watching and giving feedback. I totally agree that what works for one may not work for the other and what works in one marriage may not look the same in another.

  6. Tuhin

    07/06/2014 at 3:40 AM

    Relationships are sensitive. So we should be sensitive enough to start a sensitive issue. Communication is an art and only a few know the ways to communicate wisely. Good post on effective communication.

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:34 AM

      communication is an art that a lot of people have not mastered yet which causes a whole lot of problems.

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 2:09 PM

      Tuhin, thanks for commenting. Communication is definitely an art.

  7. Paul Graham

    07/06/2014 at 10:00 AM

    Hi Jay, solid advice on healthy conversations. No one ever “wins” an argument but both people win a healthy discussion. Timing, sensitivity, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, listening … how else would you sell anything, let alone a point of view ?

    • BallNChainz

      07/10/2014 at 6:36 AM

      Great comment Paul. you are right no one ever wins an argument.

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 1:53 PM

      Paul, thanks for your feedback. You are definitely on to something. I never compared an argument to trying to sell our point of view but that is exactly what we are trying to do in an argument. Great point, I will have to use it at our next investment summit.

  8. Susan Cooper

    07/17/2014 at 1:27 PM

    This is great subject. Bringing up important issues when you’re in temper is flared can certainly add fuel to the fire. Sometimes we want to win more the we want to resolve the issue. When we think this way it takes us off our intended purpose or what the argument was all about. When take a moment o step into our partners shoes, it can helps give us a much needed perspective. Just my thoughts. 🙂

    • BallNChainz

      07/21/2014 at 6:32 PM

      Great comment Susan. Wanting to win is a big downfall of a lot of people instead of learning and improving from their mistakes

    • Portia Scott

      09/23/2014 at 1:51 PM

      Susan, thank you for your comment. You hit the nail on the head. We are so focused on winning that we start to forget what we were really arguing about. I can certainly remember arguments like that.

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Relationships
Jubair and Tyanna
@http://twitter.com/ballnchainz

Ballnchainz is a relationship blog that covers the topics of Marriage, Family, Couples Finances, and Divorce from both the woman and mans point of view in a slightly comedic way.

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