The mistake a lot of people make is saying the first unthoughtful thing that pops in their head at the wrong time.  When you initiate a sensitive topic with rudeness and at the wrong time you will never get the response that you are looking for.  Instead, try to “Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse.”   There are a lot of healthy benefits that could come from this, you may not only resolve what you thought was a problem, you could end up having a great and productive discussion that builds your marriage instead of tearing it down.   Either way, you probably will not have to worry about a NEW problem because you started off the conversation with a bad attitude.

Once again I have come across another video from our friends John and Portia Scott at InvestnMarriage and felt compelled to share it.  This video goes along with the article that was written on BallnChainz about Effective Communication (Click this link Look at Me When I’m Talking to You – Effective Communication to read ).  My wife and I watched their video and agreed with it 100% and both said “We need to share this”.  Also don’t forget to visit The Scotts on Facebook at

So check out the link below to hear some great advice on “Initiate Healthy Conversations With Your Spouse”.



  1. My husband promised never to use the divorce word or call each other names. We have worked on our communication skills over the years and they have gotten better. HOwever, it taKes lots of Practice. 🙂

    • It’s great to hear that you and your husband don’t use the ‘D’ word or call each other names, keep up the practice. I have to agree with you Crystal, effective communication takes a lot of practice and a whole lot of patience. I myself have not completely mastered it but I am committed to the process.

  2. thanks for sharing; no spouse or girlfriend but these points can help with the family since we live in a house together. the other day I decided to tell the family how much i appreciate all the things they do to free up time for me to work on the site. I think it was a good investment and something we all should do more often especially me. and your post reminds me of one of the chapters from gretchen ruben’s book. the chapter was called learn to fight fare. take care, max

  3. I think bringing up important issues when you’re in a temper is the same as setting those issues on fire. What I really like from John and Portia was the comment about not taking the opportunity to beat up your spouse. There are times when you’re so focussed on winning the argument you lose track of who you are arguing with. It’s a bit like winning the argument but losing the war. Great post.

  4. I think it’s also important to learn how your spouse would like to approach a difficult topic. For one person, it might help to schedule a time to talk so they don’t feel like they are being ambushed, while for another it’s easier to deal with things on the fly in a casual conversation. Good communication can look different for different couples, but the key is to find what works for you, together.

  5. Relationships are sensitive. So we should be sensitive enough to start a sensitive issue. Communication is an art and only a few know the ways to communicate wisely. Good post on effective communication.

  6. Hi Jay, solid advice on healthy conversations. No one ever “wins” an argument but both people win a healthy discussion. Timing, sensitivity, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, listening … how else would you sell anything, let alone a point of view ?

  7. This is great subject. Bringing up important issues when you’re in temper is flared can certainly add fuel to the fire. Sometimes we want to win more the we want to resolve the issue. When we think this way it takes us off our intended purpose or what the argument was all about. When take a moment o step into our partners shoes, it can helps give us a much needed perspective. Just my thoughts. 🙂


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