Relationships

In a Relationship With a Cheater

In a Relationship With a Cheater
Jubair and Tyanna

When you are in a committed relationship you never expect your significant other to become romantically or emotionally involved with another person (unless your in one of those open relationships kind of couples, which opens a whole new can of worms).  The hurt that you feel when the truth of infidelity comes out has been described by some as taking a hammer and smashing your heart with it.  Here are five reasons why being “In a Relationship with a Cheater” may not work.

5)  How You Got Them is How You Will Lose Them

Well let’s just get rid of the obvious reason, if you got into your relationship by breaking up someone else’s relationship don’t be surprised if that same person that cheated with you now cheats on you.  In this case you knew the person was a cheater before the two of you got into a relationship so now you will always have in the back of your mind the question of if and when they will cheat on you.

4)  The Serial Cheater

This is the person who has either a job that is in the limelight, a huge salary, has their good looks going for them or a combination of the three.  This person will continue to cheat as a way to define themselves because even with the great job, looks, or status they have a low self esteem and put more importance on the number of conquests rather than finding the right one to share it all with.

3)  The Accidental Cheater

This is the person who got caught cheating who really has no remorse and only keeps saying that it was an accident.  I’m not sure how you accidentally fall into or on top of an appendage but for some reason this makes sense to them.  Continuing a relationship with this person will almost always lead to more heartache because the lack of remorse that this person has will spill over into other areas of your relationship.

2)  The Bored Cheater

I have know people who felt under appreciated because their spouse was always working or doing some type of extra curricular activity besides them.  This cheater will fall for any person who pays them even the smallest amount of attention.  This relationship may not work because the person who was cheated on may feel slighted because while they were out working hard to provide for their family their significant other was out having some fun of their own.  In this case you have two people who do not feel appreciated that will always blame the other for the indiscretions.

1)  The Revenge Cheater

All cheating is bad but this to me is the worst type of cheater (if you can say there is one).  This is bad because this person was cheated on but supposedly forgave their partner for stepping out on their relationship.  Only later to cheat on the previous cheater as a way of payback.  This is what I call premeditated cheating because this person was just waiting for the correct opportunity to get paybacks.  This person feels like so what I cheated you cheated first so get over it.   In the Revenge Cheater case this relationship may not work because of the childish tit for tat that may continue throughout the rest of the relationship until someone finally has enough and calls it quits.

I know that every relationship is different and what works for some will not work for others but the one thing that most people agree on is that cheating is not acceptable.  When I hear men or women say that “All men cheat” all I can think is that this person is using this as an excuse to cheat or on the flip side the woman is making an excuse for their cheating partner.  To me once you cheat on your partner you lose the trust that you once had.  Once you lose the trust there is no more relationship which should be a reason to end it, because from this point on it will be hard to stay “In a Relationship With a Cheater”.

What are your thoughts on this subject?  Would you stay or have you ever stayed with a cheater?   Go ahead and leave a comment and/or share this article on your social media.

Author B.A.M.

View Comments (9)

9 Comments

  1. Mark

    02/26/2015 at 4:22 AM

    Interesting blog.
    Statistics show that about 30% to 60% of people in the USA cheat on their spouses which is probably on the conservative side seeing as 50% of marriages end in divorce.
    About 2 to 3% of children are from affairs that the other partner did not know of and are brought up by the husband without ever knowing!

  2. jerseylizzy

    02/27/2015 at 11:14 AM

    I was with an asshole who needed vacation time from me and he’s child while in a relationship whenever he went to Florida to visit he’s mom will stay for months and will come back home to me actually like nothing happened I only allows him to be around because of our child but I got tired of he’s crap I’m now with a good person who’s helping me raise he’s daughter strange enough I met him while in Florida visiting my family lol

    • B.A.M.

      02/27/2015 at 11:23 AM

      Lol. I guess there is something in the water in Florida. Hopefully he still has a relationship with his daughters and if he doesn’t then atleast you have a good man now to help raise them. You should check out the family smoothie article on here about blended families.

  3. B.A.M.

    03/01/2015 at 7:42 PM

    Jason I have know more than a few people who have stayed with cheaters. More often than not they end up kicking themselves for wasting the time thinking that their partner would change.

  4. Jeri

    03/03/2015 at 1:35 AM

    Or there’s the version where the husband just flips his lid and flies to Thailand, not once… but twice. Yep. I kid you not 🙁

    • B.A.M.

      03/06/2015 at 5:36 PM

      wow that takes a big pair to think someone would deal with that and stay with you. He was some kind of special. Did he come back with a mail ordered bride?

  5. RadioSky

    03/11/2015 at 8:54 AM

    You’re right about the betrayal and if you’re talknig about SOLE full custody, I agree, because if they have a history of bringing person after person into their lives, its not a stable environment. But .I think if one parent is stable, they should have custody and the other parent given visitation. Even though they screwed up, they are still the kid’s mom or dad .and the kid will ONLY have one mom or dad. The thing is, you’re asking the law to meddle in personal aspects of a marriage if you want the cheating spouse to be forced to move .and we don’t live in a dictatorship. Cheating is defined as many different things too .and thats an issue as well when it comes to forcing a certain action on one party of the relationship. Its too much of a mess to define, and not black and white like you seem to want to make it be. If you decide to marry someone, and have a child, you basically are saying, I agree to work out any issues between us should things happen, when you sign the marriage license. It would be nice if things were so cut and dry but marriage can be messy .and what one person thinks of as infidelity may not be infidelity to another.

  6. Tuhin

    05/04/2015 at 5:08 AM

    Hello Jay,

    First of all congratulation for the new theme (may be I am visiting after a long time. Your blog looks a serious place to discuss relationship issues.

    Coming to this post I never knew there are so many different types of cheaters. Thanks for writing this post. you are saving families for sure.

    • B.A.M.

      05/04/2015 at 8:41 AM

      Thanks Tuhin for the great comment. You keep up the great work on your blog as well

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Relationships
Jubair and Tyanna
@http://twitter.com/ballnchainz

Ballnchainz is a relationship blog that covers the topics of Marriage, Family, Couples Finances, and Divorce from both the woman and mans point of view in a slightly comedic way.

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