Years ago when women took care of the home and men went to work to make the money that kept the lights on, life was so much simpler.  Everyone knew their roles, each person handled their business, and marriages lasted forever.  When did society get so twisted that a woman feels that it is an insult to cook for a man?  Fast forward about 50 years and a lot of women are not only refusing to take care of the home, but there are some who won’t do something as simple as fixing their man a sandwich.

Disclaimer:  ladies please don’t complain about this being a one sided article because that is exactly what it is.  We also wrote an article on these lazy, immature, selfish men that are out there as well that can be found on this site or by clicking this link So what she makes more money than you.

Chivalrous man and selfish woman

I have heard friends talk about going out on first dates and the woman expected the man to open the car door, restaurant door, and pay for the entire date because they were the man.  While on that same date the woman divulges that she doesn’t like to cook or clean.  Some ladies went as far as to say that any man that marries them will just have to accept the fact that they won’t be cooking and that they will have to hire a maid to clean because she won’t be doing that either.  How can you in your right mind even make your lips up to form that stupid sentence and say it with a straight face? It is people like this that make it hard for good woman out there.

It is these types of ladies that say that there are no good men out there.  Now how can I say this nicely…?  No stupid, the problem is that you scare the good men off with your selfishness and laziness.  How can you say that you expect men to do the things “that men use to do”, when you are not willing to do the things “that women use to do” to get/keep a man.   For those of you who were lucky enough to get a man to marry you, if you don’t change he will get tired of your selfishness too and you will be divorced soon.  I know that somewhere there are a few ladies reading this rolling their eyes and that want to stop reading because they think I am talking about them.  Well guess what, I am talking to you and your selfish, going to be single forever, and too lazy to fix your man a sandwich self.

I make more money than you so do what I say 

Now let’s talk about the “career women” who are too busy for relationships because they are trying to prove to their male counterparts that they are just as good as them.  These ladies take on the male hardness/brashness and think that they don’t have a man because men are intimidated by them.  The real reason you don’t have a man is because you act like a jerk and talk down to the men who make less money than you do.  You throw your money around at men your dating like you’re a rapper in a strip club and then when the man drops your successful butt you claim that he couldn’t handle your success.  Just because you make more money than your spouse doesn’t mean that you are above fixing your man a sandwich.  You shouldn’t be so focused on your career that your home life takes the back seat or even worst doesn’t exist.

I know plenty of women who are successful in their companies and maintain their “softness” while still finding time to take care of the home (I’m not talking about you) and treat their man like a man.  I’m talking about the women who feel that because they make more money than their spouse that they are better than them.  A man who makes more money than his wife is no better than her, just as a woman who makes more money than her husband is no better than her man.  Remember, I’m not talking about the ability to buy material things.  What I am talking about is the roles that each of you play in the relationship and your attitude towards the importance of your spouse’s roles.

Neither of you is more important than the other

Ideally a relationship should be 100/100 and each person should treat the other with respect.  If one person likes to cook then the other should clean the kitchen.  If you get home first or have the day off don’t wait for the other person to get home so they can start cooking.  You get your butt in the kitchen and start dinner so that it’s ready when your spouse gets home.  And for those ladies who don’t cook, the least you can do is get in that kitchen and fix your man a sandwich and have it waiting for him when he gets home.  Trust me when I say that this little gesture will go a long way and make him feel appreciated.

Your relationship will only be as hard as the two of you make it.  If you treat each other with respect and communicate when the other is slacking in whatever area, things won’t reach the point of no return.  Sit down and discuss the importance of each other and let them know that you appreciate them and all that they do and life will be so much simpler.  Remember the little things that you won’t do, somewhere there is a lady that is more than willing to do.

I will stop this article here and will discuss the problem with these immature men in my next article.  While you’re on this blog  (time for a not so shameless plug of a video that I found on YouTube) please take a look at the video under the video tab on this site called Mrs. Redds advice for woman called  How to Keep a Man and listen the great words of wisdom that she is speaking.

Author: B.A.M



  1. Make Your Man A Sandwich is a controversial title, Jay, as I know you intended but the article is actually very well balanced as the advice applies equally to men as to women. Three thoughts come to mind : 1/ Gender roles constantly evolve as the first sandwich was a piece of meat wrapped in a hunk of bread, prepared in haste during a battle by the MALE attendant of The Earl of Sandwich. 2/ Whatever your gender, please do not make your spouse a sandwich that looks as unappetizing as the one in the featured image ! 3/ The struggle to find balance is certainly more challenging than it was for previous generations but when we look at those cultures where the traditional roles are still in effect it is certainly well worth the effort. Great post Jay, keep it up !

    • Thanks Paul, yes was intended that way just as the counter article is “so what she makes more money than you”. The both discuss balance and communication in the household and can apply to either man our woman.

    • Thanks Jason, Lol.. as Paul said the title can be a little misleading but I try to keep things pretty neutral. Check out the counter to this article called “so what she makes more money than you”

  2. Let a lady weigh in here! Frankly, the rant IS pretty balanced:) You probably aren’t as old as I am…hardly anybody is…but gender rules do change with age and that’s the truth. The lady who has cooked, cleaned and made sandwiches for 30 years needs a break. Frankly, he probably does too. I have remarked to friends lately how hard it must be to be a man today when women keep changing the rules of what defines a man. The whole I want an “equal playing field” yet make special allowances because I’m a woman attitude that seems to prevail. But it’s superficial really as only a couple can decide what works best for them…it won’t be the same for everyone. The idea is just that, I think…whatever works best for the people involved. That’s a whole lot less complicated than figuring out the whole equality thing because I don’t think there is such a thing. Like life, it’a an ebb and flow…if you can’t do it today, I will, and if I can’t do it tomorrow hope you willl…
    Loved the article…I really did

    • Jacqueline, I agree with you and that is why I wrote it this way. It is up to the couple to decide whats best for them. the issue comes when the couple does not have good communication or when one of the two is selfish. Being married or in a relationship is not about equality it is about wanting to do for the other so that the two of you can move forward together.

  3. The yin and yang of this ebbs and flows through time. Whether I agree or disagree with what you’ve said is not important. I truly believe you get back what you give, regardless of profession, roles or choices. When I think of a relationship, I agree, that it is as you said 100/100 and based on respect. Sharing what is done should be based on need not on roles. I have a pretty good relationship that has stood the test of time. We do what is important to each other not what is deemed as our role. He loves to cook, so do I, so sharing that is fun. He’s terrible at laundry, so I take care of that. I guess what I’m saying it relationship building on mutual understanding to make it work in a healthy way.

    • My wife and I do the same thing. Whoever cooks the other cleans, whoever washes clothes threw other folds (i hate folding so i always wash). Sharing is caring… the key is to find what works for the two of you and make it work… thanks for the great comment

  4. Hi Jay; I found this to b a well balanced post, and that is without reading the article you linked it to. You are right its about communicating with each other and deciding what is important. But dating is different than a relationship. Most of us are on our best behavior on a date. We start off in that I hope she likes me stage. So, men will buy new clothes or clean the best ones they have, wash and maybe even wax their vehicle, open doors, buy flowers, go to restaurants they don’t usually go to, even go to movies or watch tv shows they don’t really care for, etc. So is making a sandwich all that big a deal. I can remember when one of the best weapons available to a woman was a good home cooked meal. I should mention I am blind and have yet to go on a traditional date. Well, I don’t drive and houston doesn’t have very good mass transportation. thanks for the post. It takes courage to write posts like this. Take care, Max

    • Thank Max.. it’s not the sandwich that is important, it’s the balance between home and work, and not being selfish that’s important. Lol you think this was brave then you will think I’m crazy for my child support article Called 5 coarse child support meal and the check please…

  5. Hubby and I split things pretty equally around the house. I do a bit more now that he’s traveling for work four days a week, plus we hire someone to mow the lawn now. It only makes sense that people share in lives petty annoyances known as cooking, cleaning, etc. As we all know, that isn’t always the case. Gender roles aren’t as strict as they used to be, but society definitely has a long way to go. If Hillary Clinton gets elected as our next President, I’m sure we’ll see just how far our world has yet to come.

    • You are so right when you say that our world has so far to go. the only problem is that we seem to be moving backwards

  6. I feel a bit disqualified to speak here, as I don’t think I’m the one you’re talking to. 🙂 (Maybe that’s my wishful thinking.) But I do agree that selfishness of any kind in a relationship is the fast track to a train wreck. Putting each other first is the only way to survive a marriage, and going out of your way to take care of your man is the best way to thrive. My husband swears my sandwiches taste better than the ones he makes, even if they’re exactly the same, and why wouldn’t I want to give him the best of things? You’re right on so many levels, and I can’t wait to read your next article.

    • You are right about the selfishness and the need to put each other first to survive the marriage. And your sandwiches do taste better than his.. lol thanks for the great comment and make sure you check out the counter article to this “so what she makes more money than you”

  7. I really love this point of view! I even laugh really loud while reading it because I know several women who fit these descriptions. I like the honesty as well as the you drive your points home. Thank goodness I don’t fall into any of this category (I’m about to make my man a sandwich right now)

    • Lol.. and i bet your man would appreciate it. I know some women like that as well and they never can stay in a healthy relationship. To me it’s all about give and take and selflessness.

  8. Of course the woman should do everything in the house, she is made for it and I am made to lift my feet a few inches when she hoover’s under them. Of course she should have a rest from this when the football is on as the hoovering is too loud. Then she should go do the dishes at her station in the kitchen……. Oops she’s back. Women are wonderful and the house chores should be shared.
    Actually they shouldn’t be shared per say. There are things that one does better than the other or even enjoys.
    Ah, she’s gone out again
    Again life is a compromise (sorry ladies but you will have to look that word up in the dictionary and while you are at it look up the word sorry as well.
    Wonderfully written piece again look forward to reading more.

    • Lol.. i was waiting for someone to write a comment like this, so glad it finally happened. Thanks for the kind words, they are appreciated. I can’t wait for your comments on some of the other articles


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here