Relationships

Down On One Knee, Putting a String On the Ring Finger

Down On One Knee, Putting a String On the Ring Finger
Jubair and Tyanna

Being engaged is something that most women dream about from the time they are kids and the anticipation only gets stronger the older they get.  This anticipation grows exponentially once a woman hits her late 20’s and early 30s, and during this time more ideas pop into her little head.  If you ask a woman who isn’t married what her dress will look like, the venue, and what her ring will look like, most women will be able to give you specific details down to the design of the cake.  If a man got down on one knee and tied a string around your finger while asking you to marry him, y’all would look at him like he was crazy and may even break up with him.  And therein lies the problem!!!

Man from the past, woman from current day

A woman gets an engagement ring and the man and woman both get wedding bands.  I will point out the difference in his wedding band and hers is usually a couple of thousand dollars (we will get more in depth with this later).  For years and years little girls are programmed to think that the engagement and wedding day is all about them.  In reality this isn’t the case and is the start of a lot of the selfish mentality that society has in place today.  The engagement is about the two of you making moves to become one and the wedding day is about the two of you becoming one.  I wish women’s brains could get upgraded similar to how computer software gets upgrades.  This upgrade would remove the 1950 thought process that women have when it comes to engagements, weddings and finances.  Included in this upgrade would be the women spending 3 months salary on a man’s jewelry or whatever electronic gadget the man likes as an engagement gift to him.  Yeah yeah stop sucking your teeth and rolling your eyes.

Let’s think about this.

Back in the day when women stayed home and cooked, cleaned, and raise the children and the man worked, it was ok for the woman to get the more expensive rings while the man got the little band. I also may point out that there was less divorce and the kids were better mannered back then.  But now a day’s women work, make good salaries and are CEOs of companies and so on and so forth.  So why are we still stuck in the 50s with the engagement, wedding, and actual married life style. Women want a chivalrous man from back in the day but aren’t willing to do the stuff women did back then.  It seems like after the burning Bras burnt out so did the women taking care of the home and became the start of women’s selfishness.  Fast forward to today and there is too much emphasis placed on the misguided and media induced ideas of what engagements stands for instead of the focus being on the relationship.

Bigger isn’t always better

I’m willing to bet that more than a few of you read that section title and laughed, rolled your eyes, or thought something that I can’t write in the article but I digress (I like saying that so you will see a few articles on here with me digressing).  In this day and age people still have in their minds that a man should still be spending 3 months of his salary on a ring.  This thought process is dumb and is one of the reasons people are still in debt for years after getting married (that combined with the dream wedding, but we will get to that later).  Now if a man has it to spend then that is fine, stupid but fine.  But in most cases a man doesn’t have it to spend and should be putting that money on the bills that he racked up partying and vacationing with his boys and/or vacationing with the soon to be fiancée.  Now back to the point of this section.

Some women’s brains are wired to think that the bigger the ring, the bigger his love is for her.  This is one of the most absolutely stupid thoughts that a woman can have and if you thought that before you should go to counseling before you walk down that isle. Then there are the women who like to show off and only want the ring to be huge so that it makes their friends jealous or just show off in general.  This type of person always says hello to people doing the beauty pageant wave with her left hand.  Some woman would rather have a ring that is not the best clarity and VVS2 that is 1 1/2 carrot instead of a ring that is a half carrot, VVS1, C class and cost two – three times that of the other one.  This type woman is more concerned about what other people think and would rather have a ring that is bigger and cost less because people may think the smaller ring means he doesn’t care as much.

$50,000 dollar fantastic wedding and back to the apartment

Now onto the actual wedding and the idiotic thoughts that make up this day.  Why in the hell would you show off to a bunch of friends and family and make a great memory for everyone while wasting $50,000.  A smarter move would have been to use that 50K for a down payment for a house and have the wedding in your new home followed by a cookout.  How about just keeping it small and simple.  Once again, the issue here is people like to show off and try to out do what someone else has done.  Weddings are a worst financial decision than buying a new car.  At least with a car, it may lose its value but you can trade it in or sell it to get something new.  Well, I guess you can do that to with your spouse but this is a topic I will handle at a later date.

People, the size of the ring or the money you spend on your wedding do not equate to how much you love one another.  So, to put things in perspective, would you rather have a faithful man who put a string on your finger that is home and provides for you in all areas and loves you to no end or a man who put a $100,000 ring on your finger that has a wondering eye, cheats, and is never home.

Get your priorities straight people and remember when it comes to a ring or wedding all that is needed is the two of you and your love…

Author: B.A.M

View Comments (8)

8 Comments

  1. Virtue

    11/05/2013 at 7:12 PM

    I have to agree no one needs to go into debt trying to have a dream wedding. All you need is the bride, groom & God to be in attendance. I think some people do forget the true meaning for the union which is to enter into marriage and start a life together. Like you said if you have the money to burn then by all means burn it, but if your union is about becoming Husband & Wife rethink the priorities here. I would rather take the man who will profess, provide and protect his family by any means necessary string band and all. Just my thoughts. . .

    • B.A.M.

      11/18/2013 at 9:55 PM

      your correct. A lot of people forget about the true meaning for the union. Thank you for your thoughts and please come back and provide your feedback on other articles.

  2. Dave

    11/12/2013 at 7:51 AM

    I agree with this article so much. I hate to see people ripping open envelopes at the wedding to get the money to pay the DJ or someone else who overcharged them for their special day. I am definitely a fan of small and simple. I never understood how people can pay 20 – 50 thousand for a wedding then go back to the projects.. Even though being married is not about the size of the ring. I doubt my wife would have let me get away with the string.. But I get the point of what the author making.

    • B.A.M.

      11/18/2013 at 9:59 PM

      LOL. Most women wouldn’t let the man get away with a string but you got the point. I can’t stand to hear other women equate the size of the ring with love. What they don’t understand is that it makes the man question how much the woman loves them and even puts thoughts in their head about not even wanting to marry them.

  3. CS

    11/13/2013 at 10:53 PM

    I couldn’t agree with you more. We think the ring should cost three months paychecks because the monopoly mining the diamonds executed a *very* successful marketing campaign. Not too long ago deBeers was telling us it should be two months. We fell for it and now it’s been bumped up to three! Insanity. But we fell for it again. Objects only have the values we assign to them. It’s special because of who it came from and what it means not because of what it cost.

    Oh and don’t get me started on the ethical issues, diamonds funding oppressive governments and rebel movements and the utter futility of the Kimberley process. Or the fact that they aren’t even all that rare, what enters the market is strictly controlled by that same company telling you that you don’t love her if you don’t spend X! No, save your money and build your life together, stop trying to impress people outside of your relationship with such superficial silliness.

    • admin

      11/14/2013 at 8:53 AM

      We were going to touch on the diamond companies creating the 3 month rule just like card companies and Valentine’s day but thought the article was to long already. Great comment

  4. Protege

    11/19/2013 at 7:36 PM

    I have to agree with that many young brides are frivolous, shallow and short-sighted. The ultimate and most luxurious ring and wedding are a fantasy. Indulging in such a fantasy can be harmful to a new couple’s future. Oftentimes, just as this article states these couples have no savings and end up living in an apartment with a mountain of debt, and likely a married life fraught with financial tension. I think what is most important to remember here is that a wedding is not a marriage in the same way that a graduation is not an education, degree, or career. Weddings and graduations are ceremonies. Marriage is a journey, an experience, a lifetime.

    • ballnchainz

      05/19/2014 at 8:18 AM

      Yes financial tension is a real thing and starting a marriage off like that only adds stress to an already stressful situation. Great comment

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Relationships
Jubair and Tyanna
@http://twitter.com/ballnchainz

Ballnchainz is a relationship blog that covers the topics of Marriage, Family, Couples Finances, and Divorce from both the woman and mans point of view in a slightly comedic way.

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