Being social and having a good personality are qualities that a lot of adults are starting to lose while today’s teens/tweens seem to be missing them altogether.  Even those who are “suppose” to be together and are mindful of how they interact with others,  more often then not, you will see them constantly checking their phone, taking pictures (of food or selfies) and posting them to social media or even just texting someone.  Unfortunately, what you won’t see a lot of is eye to eye contact during conversation, sharing small talk that is not about something on social media, or just two people giving their undivided attention to one another for more than 2-3 minutes before checking their phone again.

Here are 4 simple ways to know if Technology is Ruining Your Relationship

1)  Date Night

As a parent I know first hand that it can be hard to get a babysitter or even the time and energy up to get out for what is a well deserved date night.  Once that opportunity comes a lot of couples will waste this free time doing the same thing that they would be doing if they were home with the kids which is checking or updating social media statuses.

As a parent I know that you have to keep your phone on in case there is an emergency at home but what you can do is make an arrangement with who ever is watching the kids that they call either the wife or the husbands phone.  This way only one phone will need to be out and you can ignore all other non-emergency issues and therefore stop Technology From Ruining Your Relationship

2) Constantly Bringing Work Home

Often times as professional people we tend to put our work above our relationship.  I know sometimes when I have a deadline to make that I will sometimes bring my work home to finish it.  This is ok from time to time as long as you let your significant other know ahead of time that you have some work that needs to be finished.  The issue comes up when this is happening every night and you have to stop what you are doing with your spouse to “check your email” or log in “real quick” to finish something your were working on.

As husbands and wives we have the responsibility to make our spouse feel like there is nothing more important than them.  Often we take them for granted without even knowing it because we are doing things that we claim are “for the family”.  It’s important to take some time every night to spend with your spouse.  Time where it is just you two talking about your day, sitting down for a quick bite to eat or watching a favorite TV show TOGETHER.  Doing something together before climbing back into your pile of work will show your spouse that even though you are busy they come before your work, anyone or anything else.

3)  Communicating with Technology

Technology has made it so that most people are accessible 24/7.  Your spouse feels that whenever they text you that you are suppose to immediately respond and will sometimes get upset if you don’t.  It doesn’t matter that you are at work and in a meeting presenting in front of some big wigs in their mind you are ignoring them.

We are so used to being able to contact our spouse and get a response immediately that when it doesn’t happen we start thinking some of the worst stuff possible.  Instead of getting upset or cyber stalking them to death by texting back to back to back to back we need to get back to having patience and realize that the instant response that you are looking for isn’t going to happen all the time because of regular life circumstances.

4) Tone of the Text

One of the biggest mistakes a couple makes is texting instead of calling.  Going back and forth via text while discussing a sensitive subject can take an evil turn for the worst very quickly.  When you communicate via text, what is missing is the tone of your voice which doesn’t always get relayed properly.  Unfortunately, your spouse can sometimes start taking your replies as insensitive or mean when that is not how you meant for it to come across.

Nothing can replace a face to face discussion or telephone call.  When you speak to people your tone gets relayed and the other person can tell if you are joking, being sarcastic, or if you really are being mean.  Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and talking more instead of texting can stop Technology from Ruining Your Relationship.

With an increase of technology there are more ways for insecurities to pop up.  I have heard of social media jealousy, miscommunication because of a dependency on technology and relationships ending because of technology.  Just like with all things too much of a good thing can quickly become a bad thing.  Technology is good but when it starts to interfere with your communication, quality time spent with family, or just your relationship overall it is time to back off from the cyber world and spend more time with each other in the real world.


  1. There is a technology age gap here which is often brought about by the parents themselves.
    I am of the age where I remember writing love letters and posting them. Mobile phones did not exist.
    Nowadays parents buy their 5 year old children phones so they are brought up with communication being instant. They know nothing else and have probably never even written a letter.
    At work I refused to take work home and banned my team from doing so, going out with the wife meant taking no phones at all and people knew when they sent me a text I would either ring back or ignore it. I hate texting with a passion.
    Even now when we go out I see couples texting or using their phones all night and never speaking to each other.
    I am lucky, I have retired early and do not have a mobile phone. I talk face to face with people and my wife and my world is so much better for it.

    • Mark, you a so correct when you said people are giving their 5 yr old children cell phones. Who does a five yr old need to talk to. I’m all for giving them tablets so they can do learning games or read but even then I think their time should be monitored. I watch teenagers stairing down at their phones and never lining up for 15 minutes or more while at social events and adults barely conversing because they ate also into their phones. I guess this is a double edge sword since I read a lot of post including yours from my phone and write my articles on my tablet. I guess moderation is what’s needed to get people back to communicating face to face again. Thanks for the great comment


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